In Korea, a typical family not only consisted of the nucleus family(the father, the mother, and their children), but often included the extended family as well(the relatives and the new additions to the family such as daughter-in-law and grandchildren).
Therefore, in contrast to a typical western family that is comprised of an average of four members, when one asks for the size of a Korean family, the figure would usually be considerably higher than four. Although it is not as evident today, it was not so uncommon just several decades ago to see several generations living together under on roof as one family.
In tradition and still in practice, the first on, called "changnam", has the responsibility of staying with his parents and caring for them the rest of their lives.
In addition to this responsibility, "changnam" also inherits the family wealth and the family duty of ancestor worship.
Younger sons often reside with their parents after their marriage but only temporarily as it is not their duty to remain with their parents.
Depending on circumstances, the younger sons are free to leave their family whenever they feel is the right time. Younger sons eventually establish their own household referred to as "changnam" or the little house.
The oldest son's household is called "knnjip" or the large house. As one can imagine, a traditional Korean family could get quite large with the first sons' wife, the younger sons' wives, their children, and even a few of their relatives.
The life of a daughter in a Korean family is considerably different from that of a son.
The primary difference between a son and a daughter is that a daughter would have to leave her family and move into her husband's family once she gets married. So when she gets married, she is referred to as "shijip kada" or literally " going to the in-law's house."
If she gets married to the "changnam", she would move into the "kunjip" whereas if she marries one of the younger sons, their living arrangements would depend on the family's situation.
But one thing for sure is that once the daughter gets married, she ends up permanently leaving her natal family. Therefore, she literally becomes an outsider to her natal family as well as to her husband's family because she is of a different descent.
But usually, the birth of her first child strengthens her relationship with the husband's family because if the newborn happens to be a male, it would ensure the family's continuity for another generation.
A husband and a wife have different roles in a household. Traditionally, the wife's role would be to take care of the family within the boundaries of her home whereas the husband's role would be achieved outside the boundaries of his home. The husband is considered to be the head of the family and is regarded as the source of authority.
It is expected that children respect and obey the wishes of their parents while it is also expected that the parents treat the members of the family in a fair manner.
Deference to superiors and elders is definitely present in a household and order is maintained through this deference and obedience.
So children would obey their parents, the wife the husband, the younger sibling the older and so forth.
All this is derived from filial piety, one of many Confucian virtues. The large extended family is becoming less and less common during the more recent years but the roles and relations within the family remain largely unchanged.
(2)In-Sa(Bowing) In-sa or greetings is one aspect of Korean life which is all its own. It is courtesy to say 'Annyong haseyo' when you meet someone. When two people meet, the younger person will bow first. The older person will return the greeting by bowing back in a timely and responsive manner.
However, when a person has higher a social standing or is older, such as a father or a teacher, they will greet their children or students by word, and not by bowing.
By watching the bowing and listening to the greetings, you can tell who is superior or inferior.
Koreans not only bow when meeting someone, they also bow when they are leaving the presence of each other.
Of course, the words spoken when leaving is : Annyonghi gaseyo Besides bowing , there is another way to show your respect when greeting an elder or socially superior person.
This special bow called 'kun jol', a deep bow, you do not just bow your head. Instead, you kneel and bow to the person.
This type of bowing is usually reserved for special occasions, such as: visiting ancestors' graves and bowing on New Year's day. you can also see this in a Korean wedding. This is called 'Pyeback'. As mentioned before, the newlyweds will bow to each other's parents to show thanks and respect.
Leraning to bow is like learning to speak Korean. I am certain that while many of you were living in Korea, you had Koreans bowing to you at one time or another.
(3)Physical Contact According to the traditional Confucian ethics, a boy and a girl must be separated when they turn seven. This shows that physical contact between a boy and a girl was absolutely prohibited in Korea.
Of course the world has changed a great deal since the days of Confucianism.
Nowadays, physical contact between the sexes among young people is a pretty common sight on campuses, on the streets and many other public places.
Traditionally while physical contact between opposite sexes were strictly prohibited, contact among the same sex was tolerated.
I'm sure that you have witnessed many females walking hand in hand with another female.
There are instances where males will even sit on each other's laps.
I am certain that many foreign newcomers in Korea probably thought that they were homosexuals. However, this is far from being the truth. It is actually an expressing of friendship.
Many Koreans, a show of affection or physical contact between the same sex is just a natural phenomenon. It is nothing more than an expression of intimacy and friendship.
When a Koran friend of the same sex holds your hand or puts an arm around you, do not think that they are making a pass at you. It is the most sincere form of flattery. But if you are really uncomfortable with the idea, all you have to do it tell your friend.
Make sure you tell your friend how physical contact between the same sex is viewed in the West. I am sure that your friend would be very understanding.
(4)Drinking Custom To the Koreans, drinking plays a very improtant role in everyday life.
For example, in many cases, in order to close a tough deal, a businessperson and his associates would discuss business problems over a drink. This is equally the same one someone who wants expand their friendship with another person. People think that drinking is a very good way to discuss tough subjucts.
They even believe that liquor makes a person more honest.
Group drinking, especially among work friends is common. This repersents one particular aspect of Korean human relations.
Korean usually think of their co-workers as family.
What this means is that to Koreans, work and family are treated as the same.
This is why we often see co-workers drinking together.
This is a good way for them to relieve their stress in a pleasant environment. Light drinking is thought to promote friendly-relations among friends.
There are unique Korean drinking customs. I will make a few points.
If you are drinking with someone with a higher social status or age, the younger person serves or pours a drink with two hands. And also receives the drink with two hands. This is a sign of respect.
It is improtant to note that you should fill the glass on just one pour, and it should be about 4/5 filled.
If someone wants to share or have a drink with you, it is a sign that the person wants to get closer to you. Sometimes it is considered rude to decline such an offer.
(5)Table Manner We will compare and contrast between the traditional table manners and the modern table manners. Traditionally, the males were served their meals first. It was also the females job to cook and set the tables.
Females would sit by their husbands to make sure that they had everything they needed for a pleasant meal. Only after husband is finished, then can the female and her children eat.
The table manners have changed a great deal from this tradition to a more modern tradition.
Presently, all the family members eat together at the same time. It is not unusual to see everyone help out. This even includes the husband.
There is one tradition which has not changed. This is that the oldest person starts the meal first. In this case, the rest of the family can only eat after the oldest person has eaten a spoonful.
A major difference between Korean and Western table manners is that there is rarely any conversations during meals.
There are instances where a person will eat loudly to show that the food is prepared well. It is interesting to not that this in not considered to be rude.
it is considered to be rude if one leaves the table before the elder finishes. Staying put until the oldest person is finished is considered a basic concept of Korean table manners.
Contrary to the western style of eating cakes or ice cream, Koreans enjoy seasonal fruits.
*You'd better to know these following ideas if you visit in Korea* I'd like to talk about the Korean manners and customs here, not all parts but some parts. And I'd like to give you some information of Korean's life. So if you have a chance to visit to Korea some day, you had better read my article before comming to Korea.
First, when you go to a Korean family home, you have to take off your shoes before comming in to the saloon. And when you meet a person at first, you had better give your self-introduction in detail, for instance, your job, nationality, single or married and so on. Because most Koreans tend to be very curious to foreigners.
We, Koreans respect the aged person. This rule is very strict in Korea. For example, young people should give up their seats for the aged person in a crowded bus or subway. Nowadays some young people do not but most do. You don't have to behave like this, but if you follow this Korean customs in here, you would be a well-mannered person.
When you receive something(a present or a wine cup in a drinking party....) from the aged person, you should use two hands grasping the thing. This is a kind of expression of respectation to the aged person. When you are shaking hands with the aged person, you have to use two hands. And you had better be accustomed to bowing to the aged person like Japanese.
When you are at dinner table with Koreans, never blow your nose with a loud trumpeting noise. It's a kind of real bad manners in Korea.
When you want to cross the street in a city, you have to walk quickly. Because the green traffic light for pedestrians is too short in Seoul. And most Korean automobile drivers are impatient. When you drive your car in Seoul, you may feel extremely tired. Due to heavy traffic jam, many selfish drivers, erratic taxi and bus drivers, very loud and often car's klaxon sound.
You may be very often heard this proverb : " When you are in Rome, do as the Romans do." These above examples are some parts of Korean manners and customs. If you have a chance to come to Korea, these information should be of much help and you will certainly understand Korean culture, I think.
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